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should i come back to blog again ;) |
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Been a month... since i go to bed everynight... thinking, why is the space beside me so empty? and waking up everyday... going... was it just a nightmare, or are you really gone? I love you, and i miss you... alot. You know that don't you. You can see that from where you are right...? I hope you didnt suffer, you didnt feel lonely when you left us... We are sorry we weren't the last one you saw before you left... we're sorry if whatever we did were what caused you to leave us.. i miss you alot.... alot... :( i'm sorry.. i have to go n study. u know how much i want to write this post don't you. you read my diary already right? i know u did. |
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Free girl :) i love suckseeedd i love nong kao :)))) |
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well well. here i am again... T_T byebye.... im too emo to post anything.. :( |
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hi angeline! this post's just for you! :D let just ignore whatever happened to me in personal life, cos you'd have known had i want you to. if you don't, it's either cos i haven had time... or cos it seems like you didnt bother about me. school's been like crap. no, it's not the core modules that are killing me. IT'S THE ELECTIVES. just like how H1s were killer for me, and H2 were the only hope i have to promote/excel... i seriously have absolutely no idea why are people fighting to be in business course. or econs, for that matter. these two subject just sucks and do not at all, make sense to me. or isit just me? idk.... i miss my jc life :(.... im gna change my blog song (if it's even playing - -''') soon... and it would be my ringtone too....! i need to find more targets so i can divert my attention.... at the current position i'll end up being in the same shit all over again :( and i promise to keep my mouth shut this time.... and i think i'm gonna be the first one to use s/u in yr1 sem1 T.T i suck :(. good night :( i mean, good morning. |
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im so fickle!!!!! SIGH T_T i really am VERY VERY VERY fickle.... and i think it's quite sad. TT_TT so sad. too sad. very sad right nowww :(. i feel sad for my previous crush, and sad for my current one... and devastated for my future boyfriend.. if i'm ever gonna get one... the previous one was so serious... yet i found a new one. im confused. |
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it's almost half past 2, and i'm blogging. why? because i kept thinking about you... that i can't sleep... i sound like some of those when i see their blog i go "omg u loser". now i am the loser... sorry i've nowhere else to rant. i shall do it here then. and it happenned again... when i appear online on my fb chat list.... you go offline. or am i just thinking too much? idk... T_T |
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So.. if you've realised... I've stopped harassing you and have disappeared from your life for one week (im quite amazed). i promise to remain a good girl... but i think i might be back to harass you again soon.... SIGH. T_T this is torturous. too torturous.... and i'm pretty jealous of all your juniors. esp those in your group.. TT_TT very very jealous. |
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I'm really trying to think positive... trying to think that no, you're NOT avoiding me... but i can't. Cos to me, it seems like you ARE avoiding me... i can wait, i AM willing to wait... but what i'm scared of is... you'll be attached soon... bloody hell can someone help me or sth. black magic or whatever- -''' sigh. :'( |
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it wasn't just once... it's like twice in a row now... where as soon as i appear online in fb... you'll go offline. or is it just pure coincidental? definitely hope so... because at where i am now... my heart's shattered enough... i don't know how much more it's gonna hurt, what i know is i'm more than willing to take all the pain. i'm just not ready to let you go yet... noone has ever made me lost appetite for this long before. it's just you. i'm sorry if i'm causing you much discomfort.... |
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i've 2 students taking exams tmr pleaseee passss :( n like... idk T_T. i like you too much and it's quite sad... btw, to all my friends out there, don't bother telling me to find a new one. u know i'm stubborn. and u know, i don't like to be hurt. so please don't TT_TT. all u have to do is listen to my ranting :( m so sorry. :(. |
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talking to your friend's much easier than talking to you.. even when i ask them even more questions.. T_T sigh..... wats wrong with me :( |
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i've never been like this before, not once. not that i remembered anyway.... i've never like sit there and daydream about everything.. like how i am doing right now. n this is so not good.... T_T but what to do...? :'( |
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If home is where the heart is... then i think you are my home. (and i may have quite a few home ;))) ) HAHAHA. on tuesday, i planned to walk frm my house to tanah merah mrt, and back, cos i feel too bloated. so i went down.. and when i opened my condo's gate... RING. ok, my junior called me and tel me to go join them at TJ for steamboat. YAY. (bloatedness x10) so i went and took lots of pics of the sch cos i miss it so much hoho. i have one other reason to miss my school Today, i miss the bus. not one. 2 buses. after that i saw the bus i want to change to. i got down the first bus. BLOODY HELL THE DAMN BUS WAS RIGHT BEHIND AT THE PREVIOUS STOP WHY THE CRAP DID THE DAMN BUS TAKE SO LONG TO REACH WHEN I WAS WAITING? n cos that bus TOOK SO LONG, I MISS 2 OTHER BUSES. usually if i have cls at 3.15, i'll leave my house at 2.15 i bloody left my house at 2 today AND I WAS LIKE LATE. TRUST ME I'M DAMN PISSED. I'm in a very bad mood today. VERY VERY BAD MOOD TODAY. so bloody hell, leave me alone. i got home, i saw my fb notif i was over the moon. a minute after that, i'm back in hell again. fml, i hope she alr has a boyfriend so you have no hope. zzzz bye |
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It feel so empty, not seeing your name reflected anywhere in my fb notif :( so, i'm gonna try to blog everyday. shd i? hahha. i'm quite bored actually...... so i went out with zoe and ellery today... because they happen to bump into each other at some mall opposite where they live. (yes, they stay so near but don see each other) had a great time telling them about my life... which they decided was like a primary school tale more than a JC tale. m young at heart ;) *winks* i rly think if they didnt bump into each other i prob wont see ellery for a life time - -'' seriously. and he was such a gentleman. like. wow. i told them just ice water (cos like their drinks r expensive) he actually ordered a drink for me. and when the bill came. he paid for everything. wow. like wow. srsly. ohmygod hahahaha. apart from that i have this very nostalgic feeling about studying in TJ library with people like... Angeline, serene, yingtai.... and a lot of other ppl like ys, yimin, chloe, noelle, shaun.... (n i realised apart from the 1st 2 the rest are like... not my class) i'm sounding like some old woman reminiscing about my past. :( i saw a 11.11, and was never this enthu about 11.11 before. i made a wish. i think i was too enthu my tongue got tied - -''' ahaha. :( |
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It's a quarter after 3, i'm all lonely and I miss you now. See what i mean when suddenly all my words rhymes (you'll know later if you continue to read on). that came out like... impromptu. so, hi to any souls out there who're actually STILL reading my blog, i'm quite amazed. ( i doubt there's any left) okay so i realised my last post was even BEFORE release of A level result. wow. that's like... SO LONG. yes, i've got my result... yes it was good, i'm happy. I had to make a decision.... and I did. I was brainwashed by all the adults around me - -''' so i chose to be an NTU Chem eng student. I hope i made the right decision... i really do T_T ok so lemme re-rant on what i posted on twitter. oh right.. now i've 1 more place to put my vids up. :D So... i've been listening to songs (duh, who doesn't?). There are certain songs i really liked.. tried looking for the piano scores.. couldn't find any that I was happy with... So, i thought, why not i write it myself then? and i did, i've been doing that since..... Feb 18th (i went to youtube to check it). cool. The procedure goes like.... I listen I write the melody line I google for the chords online/transpose the chords online/ figure out my own chords I play I record I get pissed off.... (cos of wrong notes) then I upload. After a while.. my dad suggests.... i should start composing. and i told him. I have no inspiration. :( then he said, it's okay, it takes time.... it indeed took quite sometime... it's been at least a month since he told me that. i've been trying to write sentence with rhyming words.... But i could never do it. but now... YOU are my inspiration. whether you know it or not. i don't think you know, but i also think you'll know soon. I'm not exactly very close about it hahaha, as usual huh. so.... Thanks to you, on saturday (like 4th june)... after i finished teaching my last student... i suddenly had all these sentences with words that rhymes in my head. so i went to the office, looked for rough paper... and started writing down whatever i could. I've no idea if this crush's gna work out. i've known that you exist for almost 3 months (tts damn short)... but it was a VERY SHORT period of time (even shorter than 3 months)... that transformed you from just someone i find really nice.... to a MAJOR crush. TBH, this is my 2nd time experience this kinda feeling... the 1st wasn't a very nice one either hohoo. :( (but obviously u're nt my 2nd crush. if u were to count all you're probably my 134739605th crush or sth) Idk if i even stand a chance... but at where i am now. i am NOT going to just let you go. but for now i'm not gonna do anything...yet. I've been heartbroken for the past 19 years cos all my crush are scared of me TT_TT i DO NOT want the same to happen to you. ok. it's half past 3 and i'm actually quite sleepy, so if you'd excuse me.... see you in my dreams ;) |
