can we please, all go somewhere, TOGETHER?

i joint PAYSC on 2nd may, 2004. my 1st 50m free timing was 43.

within 3 months of training, it became 33, and i was promoted to the intermediate, then advance group.

i went through so much, in this club.

i just realised, it's almost 6 years i spent in the club.

let's see. i've made real real real very real friends like amanda and ivy.

i got to know loadsa jokers who never fail to make me smile.

i went through the merging of the clubs, becoming TGAC.

and with TGAC, i got to know even more friends. although it kinda gt screwed somewhere in the middle, i was still in the club. the thought of changing or quitting club was never once on my mind.

we even had to train at ang mo kio/buona vista cos tp pool were under renovation.

now tt we're back, the club is closing.

jiaolian is going back china, for holidays, he claimed.

i seriously can't imagine life without training.

:'(

im freaking lost right now.

someone tell me wat to do please...

22/4/10 sucks.. screw them.

damn the increase in pool price.

damn yog.

i knew it wast something that fantastic.

damn it.

i know my life is an open book. now i'm gonna make it transparency.

eh no. translucent. cnt reveal everything uh. no fun alr.

lemme arrange all my crush(es). apparently, im confused too. (yes, life's complicated.)

let's see... hw am i gna rank them. forget it, random then. :DDDD

okay.

okay. idk how to do this. LOL.

too complicated.... Ohmygod.

and my blog ain't tt unknown anymore. IM TOO POPULAR. shyness

erhhh....

HAI........

okay nvm im starting to :( again.

let's see.

A- isit just me, or isit you?

B- old flame. very old. dated back till sec school time. you've never changed, nor have i. what has changed, is the distance btw us.

C- hai..... your random-ness makes me feel very treasured. but you're so on-off. i cnt follow you. nope, i don't like you. i'm telling myself that, at least.

D- friend's brother. wat to do? :D juz stare la.

E- oh this is an imaginary person cos i realised A, B, C &D doesnt rly make sense. yay :D

tired. ttm.

:(((((((

goodbye sad world.

F- OMG I ACTUALLY FORGOT ABOUT YOU. LOL. okay u idiot stop listening to them TOO much please. it's nt good for ur health. they'l just eat u up, i swear. so stop ignoring me and start making fun of me again. thanks.

OMG. I ACTUALLY FORGOT.

8th position was 36.93...

just a bit, a bit more only. and i couldn't do it.

there wont be any more chance of me swimming 50m back in singapore sports school pool competitively again.

now, i really feel super empty...

and today, i met you.

you never changed, and i realised how much i miss you.

how much i miss having someone to talk to all the time.

for a moment, i thought i had the chance to make evrything the same once more.

but now, i'm not sure.

and damn, i hve no mood to go sch tmr. really...

:'(

anw. to a different you- i've been waiting for a random sms from you again. but no, i don receive any. maybe i shouldn't expect anything, right?

tu me manques, beaucoup....

i really want to cry alr :'( muz it be this event tt i cnt qualify? :'((((((

damn it damn it :'(((((((((((((

:'((((((

if, if nothing goes wrong. i will rank 9th. NINTH.

AND THEY WANT TOP 8 :'((((((((((((((((

screw my life :'((((((((((((((((

okay lets see......

intersch's next week. im lookin forward to it, and not looking forward to it either. once it ends, no more interschool for me. i feel way to empty.

my knee hurts, so much. and i have no idea why. each time i kick, i cn feel the "crack" sound.

and i swam 40.9 today. that totally just suck.

i really want to get into finals. i think if i don get in i wont go to sch on wednesday. i really really want to get in...

:'(((((((((((

this is the intersch w/o amanda. i feel weird.

actually, w/o a lot of ppl.

my sis, daniel, ivan, sheree....

haii :((((

and noo i will NOT stop swimming. die also wont quit. cos tts where i m most myself. somewhere i know, even if i went in to the pool crying, i will come out of the pool smiling, or even laughing.

and its the only sport that i can do anyway...

ohman.....

special thanks to stalker(s).

and amanda, check ur email u tooot!

i can't swim.

i'm somehow or rather unwanted everywhere. i'm either too noisy, too selfish, too stupid, too irresponsible or simply.. unimportant.

pw results is out tmr. for other class, highest they cn get is an A. but not my class.

for my cls, the highest, is only a B.

and there's no way i can get a B. how about another D?

im freaking 0% for gp. thats how horrible things can get.

stop swimming right after inter school? no way. that's whr my real real friends are. that's whr i could smile after a whole day of crying.

cool. now my mum can even read my msn conversation? thanks a lot.

i have a discipline record on the 19/1, for being absent. and i have absolutely no idea, i was absent on that day.

i have noone i can always rely on. i used to have that someone, but she's no longer around.

where can i ever find anyone else like you? someone who will definitely have time to reply my sms.

someone to always have some way or another to cheer me up.

someone who never fail to be a confidant.

come to think of it again... if gene enhancement was legal, maybe my parents don't want this fatblack ugly stupid selfish childish good-for-nothing as their daughter.

maybe, i shouldnt be born at all.

that might make my family feel happier, i guess.

they have 1 less worries to think about.

1 less burden.

1 less annoying irritating thing in the house.

and they'll prob be a perfect family ever after.

i've an unexpected bday bash frm the swim team (ohmigawd) in the morning right at the assembly area. heeheeee :D

then i've a tiara which i have to wear for the whole day. omg.

then the next day i was tricked by weishan/weilin/yutong to wear a huggeeeeee "card" which announces i just turned 18.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE WERE SMALL KIDS WHO POINTED AND LAUGH AT ME?! ohmygodd.

okay ignoring my bday which didnt seem tt important this yr :'(((((

NEXT WEEK INTER SCH. OMGOMGOMGOMGOHMYGODDDD.

I NEED TO, I MUST, AND I REALLY REALLY WANT TO GET INTO FINALS!!! :'((((((((((( IF I DON GET IN I WILL RLY CRY :'(((((((((((((((((((((

:'(

u noe im rly rlyr very glad i have the TGAC swim mates there. (although only 1 rmbr my bday but she's currently the most important one now. amanda if u were here u would also be the most important, i.e., i have 2 important person at ther pool).

and now, im actually glad i have my school swim teammates.

obviously there are politics rite, who can avoid tt? but at least, the very least, i have a bunch of crazy humans with me.

thank you so much....

this is the most boring post ever. - -'''

and sometimes i think guys are just blind. what the shit do u actually see in her? why the heck do you trust other people so damn easily? (yes im not talking about the same person and no, its not in my context)

im a nun now.

esp, with school.

#2 When she misses you, she's hurting inside.
-not a bit, A LOT.

#3 When she says it's over, she still wants you to be hers.

#4 When she walks away from you mad, follow her.
- we don walk tt fast, really. AND IT WONT SPRAIN UR ANKLE IF U FOLLOW US U GOON.

#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.
- yesss it may seem like we wna kill you, but rly. we just wna play with you and this is exactly what we want. nt tt hard rite? not all guys though, some rly deserves hitting.

#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
- N.A for me at this moment. just use ur hand and cover our mouth. it keeps us completely shut, for quite a while.

#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.
- we only ignore you if you ignore us/make us angry/pissed/sad, and its all because we like you. so it's YOUR fault and u're sposed to make up to it. AND WE'RE REALLY FORGIVING.

#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.
- as hard as possible. if u make both of us fall down it'll be like a drama scene. AWWWW.

#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful and when a girl says shes ugly then she wants u to say ur beautiful or pretty back'

#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.
- and not just walk away, uncared.

#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

#13 When she's scared, protect her.

#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
- for me no need la. if i ever do tt just look and smile at meee ^^

#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
- YES, AND NOT JUST IGNORE! :'(

#17 When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
- and not walk away, uncared.

#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
- PRE-CISE-LY.

#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.
- you may get some hittings. refer to #6. (yess i cn see u scrolling up ^^)

#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
- and when she does, she rly trust you. with all her heart. don't say "u can always talk to me" on one day, 2 weeks ltr when she's really upset, u ignore. that's real heartless. very very heartless.

#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.
-cos when you look away 1st, we feel dao-ed.

#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

#25 Don't let her have the last word.
- YES EVEN WHEN WE SAY OKAY GTG SLP NIGHT! JUST REPLY A NIGHT!!! - -'''

#26 Don't call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.

#29 When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.

#30 When she says she's OK, don’t believe it, talk to
her about it, because 10 yrs later she'll still remember it.

#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.
- nt rly, but on bdays, CAN U JUST STAY UP TO WISH, LIKE YOU WANT TO BE THE 1ST ONE TO WISH US?!

#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

#33 Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

#34 Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.

#35 Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

- we don't complain when you wanna watch ur retarded shows! nt like anyone asked me out but yea.

#37 Let her into your world.

#38 Let her wear your clothes.

#39 When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
-and not walk away...

#40 Let her know she's important.

#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.

#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking today baby?"

#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you'd read it too.
-YES!

not tt hard, right?

i was just angry. that's a good sign init?

and yea. it doesnt seem to bother me anymore. maybe i am over you, both.

i shall NOT emo for this week.

no no no. i can and i WILL do it manxxzx.

thank you all my friends (and foe who were so extremely hilariously a.a. during sports day and created a joke for us w/o knowing) for cheering me up. yes. ping IS an emokid.

thre're 2 pings.

the high one, and the depressed one.

but the usual ping u see, is the cute ping.

yay!