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can't wait for prelims to be over!!!!!! this is so damn different from my feeling when i was taking O's prelims. that was like... fun. but now... it's so :( i still have no goal, and will continue to not have one. ugh. oh i do. TO WATCH PARK TAE HWAN SWIM LIVE! now i shd add 1 more, TO WATCH HE JIANBIN SWIM LIVE AGAINNNN! :D yes. i've been having a very very very VERY bad moodswing since yesterday. MY PERIOD ARE LIKE SUPER FREAKIN DAMN LATE?!??!?!? hell - - AND I FEEL MORE BLOATED EACH DAY. (gp side track: there's no such thing as more and more/ less and less) from this point onwards, up to you if you want to read i've warned you. hai... u know sometimes i wonder, how many people actually do meant what they say, and keep to what they promised? all i need is some sense of acknowledgement that i still matter as much as you claimed i was. see, just one single mistake, and i've lost you. i've lost someone i knew, and thought, would be my bestfriend. someone who've clicked with me like noone else does. seems like i was away on dreamland. and when reality hit me, that nope, im not there anymore, i can't help but feel cheated, taken for granted. and most of all, hurt. i know lots of people take their friend for granted. i do, with ivy and amanda, and wl/ws/yt. but i'm quite sure that whenever THEY need me, i'm there. no matter what, even if i don't even see ivy, even if amanda's in canada, even if weilin's busy mugging for A's (or talking nonsense), even if wei shan is studying like mad for her exams (or going out with some ------), even if yu tong is gaga-ing over anime (and grounded inside her house), i'll be there. jc fren no need la hor i see u all everyday n u noe i don take u for granted. ok im typing too much i forgot what my point is. i just want you to know, whatever i said to you, i meant it. E-V-E-R-Y SINGLE WORD of it. and i don't change. even if i do, I'LL TELL YOU I AM CHANGING. and i take it, that you meant it. idk if things'd changed for you. idk how much of the space i occupy in your heart, idk if the memories you wanted to get rid of was about me. maybe to you, now i'm just the person to make you sad, to make you think so damn much, right? and she's making you feel better, right? i'm sure you know how sensitive and how easily affected i am, not to mention how simple stuff can trigger my jealousy, and how i remember things. every single thing that has affected me emotionally, i remember them. screw the facebook new column that keeps showing photomemories, cos more than half the time, it's a pic of me and you. ok. my brain has officially stopped functioning and i'm braindead. goodbye. |
